Cyclothymia did the same thing to me at the second pregnancy.It's not unusual to be delusional in cases of bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, or to suffer with psychotic breaks at least once.If you were raised in a shame-based style, with any sort of physical, psychological or sexual abuse, to you or siblings or a parent, or if there was alcoholism or any other addiction (prescription drugs, gambling, street drugs, pot, obesity or other eating disorder, etc) you may be suffering more from flashbacks and unresolved trauma, fear, grief, guilt and/or shame than anything else. Childbirth and the aftermath can be an emotional, physical and psychological strain for normal women, and hell for bipolar women, up to an entire year afterward. Your medicine may not work as well as it did for up to a year. I had to battle continually with major depression and then the mania of bipolar for several years.The stages of infancy and childhood may continue to trigger issues for you as your daughter passes through them. You may begin to recapture "parts" of memories and events that happened to you at around her age (a scene, smell, sounds, numbness, pain, tastes in your mouth, gagging, fear or distrust certain people or sex, etc). Or you may begin to remember unconsciously, in the form of nightmares, flashbacks, dissociation, body contortions, "spacing out," and/or panic attacks.Counseling can help. Behavioral therapy can help. Al-Anon Family Groups can help, are free, anonymous (first names only) and nearby, it's an automatic support system. Get all the help you need. This probably has nothing to do with you actually hurting your daughter. At least I hope you didn't.

I would suggest gettting another opinion. Get your medical notes and organize them, and see about getting to an outpatient university clinic for another opinion. 6 meds is a lot - sounds like too many to me. It's common, but so is giving 20 meds to elderly people, when they should only be on 5. Over-medicating people is common, so your life goes by in a blur, and being overmedicated can be a danger to your kids and to you - maybe if there is a fire, you are too slow to react, or can't think right, so you don't notice a medical problem developing, etc. Perhaps it isn't psychosis that is making you think that you hurt your daughter - that could be OCD, instead, and OCD is hard to treat too (recurrent, upsetting, intrusive thoughts). You can have OCD in addition to bipolar, and when a person is stressed, both conditions can get worse. I'm not second guessing your doctor, I just want to make the point that diagnosis in psychiatry is wrong, very commonly - the first diagnosis is right only 1/3 of the time! so when you aren't getting better, consider if the diagnosis might be wrong.really, you need to get a second opinion, and tell the doc you don't want them to just rubber stamp what the other doc says, you want them to give your case a fresh look and give recommendations. then hopefully, they will actually do that. at a university clinic, you're more likely to get that than from a community psychiatrist, where sometimes they just give knee-jerk responses and prescribe the latest drugs the drugs companies are pushing, without thinking about it much.It may be that you need to be on 6 meds, but it is true that many docs overmedicate, also, so you should always question, do you really need to be on this med or that med? anyone with a serious health condition should do that. Drug interactions are a serious problem.all the best to you.

View http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_2… and page C about bipolar disorder. Postpartum depression; see pages 3, (read the lot) and B. Take at least 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, or preferably at least 1.5 grams of fish oil, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or its FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it! Females may benefit by balancing the EPA & DHA in fish, or krill oil with an equal amount of ALA Omega 3's in flaxseed oil, or a tablespoonful of ground flaxseed. In the winter months, if not getting sufficient daily exposure to strong light, see http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articl… Go to a doctor and ask for a 25(OH)D, also called 25-hydroxyvitamin D, blood test. When you get the results, don’t follow the typical “normal” reference range, as these are too low. The OPTIMAL value that you’re looking for is 45-52 ng/ml (115-128 nmol/l)". The company which tests your levels has to be one of those using the correct form of test, and this topic is addressed via the searchbar at Mercola.com - "vitamin D3; testing". Dr. Mercola recommends 5,000 IU - 8,000 IU daily of vitamin D3, (NOT vitamin D, which is vitamin D2 - less effective) for everyone not getting enough exposure to strong light. Dr. J. Cannell, of http://vitaminDcouncil.org recommends 20,000 IU daily FOR PEOPLE SUFFERING FROM PSYCHOSIS, dropping to 5,000 IU daily once levels of 100ng/ml are established. I suggest that you visit both websites and sign up for their regular free newslletters. Test after 6 weeks, then every 6 months, at the end of summer, and winter. These are not quick to act, but will improve general health, increase your resistance to many diseases, and may well enable you to reduce the amount of medications required, with their risks, and side effects.

View http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_2… and page C about bipolar disorder. Postpartum depression; see pages 3, (read the lot) and B. Take at least 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, or preferably at least 1.5 grams of fish oil, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or its FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it! Females may benefit by balancing the EPA & DHA in fish, or krill oil with an equal amount of ALA Omega 3's in flaxseed oil, or a tablespoonful of ground flaxseed. In the winter months, if not getting sufficient daily exposure to strong light, see http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articl… Go to a doctor and ask for a 25(OH)D, also called 25-hydroxyvitamin D, blood test. When you get the results, don’t follow the typical “normal” reference range, as these are too low. The OPTIMAL value that you’re looking for is 45-52 ng/ml (115-128 nmol/l)". The company which tests your levels has to be one of those using the correct form of test, and this topic is addressed via the searchbar at Mercola.com - "vitamin D3; testing". Dr. Mercola recommends 5,000 IU - 8,000 IU daily of vitamin D3, (NOT vitamin D, which is vitamin D2 - less effective) for everyone not getting enough exposure to strong light. Dr. J. Cannell, of http://vitaminDcouncil.org recommends 20,000 IU daily FOR PEOPLE SUFFERING FROM PSYCHOSIS, dropping to 5,000 IU daily once levels of 100ng/ml are established. I suggest that you visit both websites and sign up for their regular free newslletters. Test after 6 weeks, then every 6 months, at the end of summer, and winter. These are not quick to act, but will improve general health, increase your resistance to many diseases, and may well enable you to reduce the amount of medications required, with their risks, and side effects.

I would suggest gettting another opinion. Get your medical notes and organize them, and see about getting to an outpatient university clinic for another opinion. 6 meds is a lot - sounds like too many to me. It's common, but so is giving 20 meds to elderly people, when they should only be on 5. Over-medicating people is common, so your life goes by in a blur, and being overmedicated can be a danger to your kids and to you - maybe if there is a fire, you are too slow to react, or can't think right, so you don't notice a medical problem developing, etc. Perhaps it isn't psychosis that is making you think that you hurt your daughter - that could be OCD, instead, and OCD is hard to treat too (recurrent, upsetting, intrusive thoughts). You can have OCD in addition to bipolar, and when a person is stressed, both conditions can get worse. I'm not second guessing your doctor, I just want to make the point that diagnosis in psychiatry is wrong, very commonly - the first diagnosis is right only 1/3 of the time! so when you aren't getting better, consider if the diagnosis might be wrong.really, you need to get a second opinion, and tell the doc you don't want them to just rubber stamp what the other doc says, you want them to give your case a fresh look and give recommendations. then hopefully, they will actually do that. at a university clinic, you're more likely to get that than from a community psychiatrist, where sometimes they just give knee-jerk responses and prescribe the latest drugs the drugs companies are pushing, without thinking about it much.It may be that you need to be on 6 meds, but it is true that many docs overmedicate, also, so you should always question, do you really need to be on this med or that med? anyone with a serious health condition should do that. Drug interactions are a serious problem.all the best to you.

Cyclothymia did the same thing to me at the second pregnancy.It's not unusual to be delusional in cases of bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, or to suffer with psychotic breaks at least once.If you were raised in a shame-based style, with any sort of physical, psychological or sexual abuse, to you or siblings or a parent, or if there was alcoholism or any other addiction (prescription drugs, gambling, street drugs, pot, obesity or other eating disorder, etc) you may be suffering more from flashbacks and unresolved trauma, fear, grief, guilt and/or shame than anything else. Childbirth and the aftermath can be an emotional, physical and psychological strain for normal women, and hell for bipolar women, up to an entire year afterward. Your medicine may not work as well as it did for up to a year. I had to battle continually with major depression and then the mania of bipolar for several years.The stages of infancy and childhood may continue to trigger issues for you as your daughter passes through them. You may begin to recapture "parts" of memories and events that happened to you at around her age (a scene, smell, sounds, numbness, pain, tastes in your mouth, gagging, fear or distrust certain people or sex, etc). Or you may begin to remember unconsciously, in the form of nightmares, flashbacks, dissociation, body contortions, "spacing out," and/or panic attacks.Counseling can help. Behavioral therapy can help. Al-Anon Family Groups can help, are free, anonymous (first names only) and nearby, it's an automatic support system. Get all the help you need. This probably has nothing to do with you actually hurting your daughter. At least I hope you didn't.